Wow. Wow. Wow. I am sitting here, in the airport, waiting to board a 7 and a half hour flight to Amsterdam. It’s hard to say how I feel. Four months ago the idea of studying photography in Italy (for six weeks over the summer) seemed like a wonderful idea, and I know that it will be a wonderful experience, but I am not as excited as I should be right now.

Maybe I’m just intimidated by this 20 hour travel day?

Maybe my spirits were dampened because my grandma has spent the last week crying? She was so sad to see me leave, and I was sad to leave, but more sad to see her cry. That was probably the hardest part, leaving the people I love.  But I’ve spent longer periods of time away at school than I will spend in Europe this summer.  Why am I feeling this way!?

In the weeks leading up to this trip I have been beyond excited, but the last week has been a complete roller coaster. One minute I am excited, the next nervous, then I don’t even want to go, up, down, up, down I ride this roller coaster.  I am actually mad with myself for feeling this way. Most people would kill for this opportunity – did I really just say I don’t want to go? Now here I am, at the airport, kind of in a daze. I can’t believe that the day is finally here. I think I will be much more excited when I finally touch down in Florence, but, until then, I am feeling anxious, sad, nervous, and not at all myself.

In an effort to make myself feel a little better (And to hold myself accountable for all my study abroad goals) I am going to make a list of all the wonderful things I hope to experience in the next six weeks:

I hope that to try as many new foods as possible.

I hope to meet new people.

I hope to learn more about the Italian culture.

I hope to live like a local, as opposed to being the typical American tourist.

I hope to go off the beaten path and make my own path.

Lastly, I hope to travel as much as possible. This world is a huge place, and as I sit here – scared, nervous, hopeful, dazed, excited – I want to make the most out of this once in a lifetime opportunity I have right in front of me.